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acceptance
December 2008 
Learning to Love what Hurts the Most
Posted on Dec 23rd, 2008
by 
Harmony
Harmony
Aloneness....
Oh, how I have hated this word! Being alone is the one thing in human existance which pains me more than anything other thing! When people feel alone they resort to selfish and unrealistic means to meet their needs. I believe all people should be surrounded by healthy community in which they feel loved and accepted and appreciated.
Yet I see the value of aloneness. It is when I am alone that I am forced to see myself as I really am. Warts and all. I am forced to accept that as I am I am acceptable to God. I don't have to change anything about myself to be loved. This may be the hardest thing for me to accept. We are programned to be achievers from a young age - we are taught that we should be focused and goal oriented, and often we experience greater acceptance when we do well at something then when we are merely mediocre or no good at all. Young children are taught to find something they are good at and go for it with all their might. This is not a bad thing perhaps, because it teaches them to accomplish tasks that they may even find difficult. But whether they are loved should not be based on their actions. And this kind of love can only be offered by God. Love that isn't based on good behavior or success. There is No rejection in God's love.
When I am alone, I have to be ok with JUST GOD loving me. I have to say, "Self, God loves you. You must love you too!" If I don't the only other option is to dwell on the past and get caught up with my own failures. Hmmm.... choose to set my eyes on my Creator and accept His love, or focus on me and how much I suck... Let's think about it.
Therefore, I have decided that even though I hate to be alone (I mean, I DESPISE it!!!! If I could, I would spend every minute of my day and night with someone that I love.), being alone is actually an opportunity to be with God - just me and him in sweet communion and intimacy. He wraps his arms around me and sings over me and tells me that His plans are for my good and not for my harm, to give me a hope and a future.
It is in Aloneness that God is nearest.
Oh, how I have hated this word! Being alone is the one thing in human existance which pains me more than anything other thing! When people feel alone they resort to selfish and unrealistic means to meet their needs. I believe all people should be surrounded by healthy community in which they feel loved and accepted and appreciated.
Yet I see the value of aloneness. It is when I am alone that I am forced to see myself as I really am. Warts and all. I am forced to accept that as I am I am acceptable to God. I don't have to change anything about myself to be loved. This may be the hardest thing for me to accept. We are programned to be achievers from a young age - we are taught that we should be focused and goal oriented, and often we experience greater acceptance when we do well at something then when we are merely mediocre or no good at all. Young children are taught to find something they are good at and go for it with all their might. This is not a bad thing perhaps, because it teaches them to accomplish tasks that they may even find difficult. But whether they are loved should not be based on their actions. And this kind of love can only be offered by God. Love that isn't based on good behavior or success. There is No rejection in God's love.
When I am alone, I have to be ok with JUST GOD loving me. I have to say, "Self, God loves you. You must love you too!" If I don't the only other option is to dwell on the past and get caught up with my own failures. Hmmm.... choose to set my eyes on my Creator and accept His love, or focus on me and how much I suck... Let's think about it.
Therefore, I have decided that even though I hate to be alone (I mean, I DESPISE it!!!! If I could, I would spend every minute of my day and night with someone that I love.), being alone is actually an opportunity to be with God - just me and him in sweet communion and intimacy. He wraps his arms around me and sings over me and tells me that His plans are for my good and not for my harm, to give me a hope and a future.
It is in Aloneness that God is nearest.
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oh, how i am quickly coming to adhor you, Harmony. GOD is BEcoming more & more YOU (which, of course, means YOU are BEcoming less & less of yourSELF in the process…which is a very GOOD thang!). The “aloneness” that you “feel”…it will BE replaced by a KNOWING (that you are one with GOD, and never alone). There is a transition, where as at first, this “aloneness” seems a negative. The mind & body shudders from it. Even the spirit is foreign to it’s beauty. But, just as when you first go into a dark room & see nothing but black, your eyes then adjust, BEcoming acclimated to their surroundings. The same (or similar) is happening with your soul. GOD IS removing you for moments, special moments. These moments, i perceive, are to BE used as a meditative experience, where as you & GOD join in of the SPIRIT & walk side by side as friends, where as GOD replentishes your soul, speaks “words” of romance to you, holds your hand (soul actually) in GOD”S Own Hand, and for that period, there is a melding, a fusion , where as, again, i perceive, you BEgin to lose a little of YOU, & is replaced with a little more of GOD in YOU. It’s a beautiful thing, Harmony. It is a gift. And it is to BE treasured above all else. It truly is moments like those that you BEcome aware of just how great GOD is in YOU.
i know you already, my friend. Your soul is quite unique, yet So full of GOD’S Glory. I don’t even need to encourage you to seek this truth out within yourself. You shall. It is your nature. It’s your calling. It’s your destiny. Your world awaits you, sista’. GOD Has Flung open The Doors wide for YOU. YOU are BEing transformed into SUCH Light….amazing.
(and to think….i get to watch it all unfold. DAMN, GOD is awesome!!!)
How does anyone follow Rich when he’s like that? Holy moly! Beautifully said.He knows exactly what he’s talking about (or is that exactly what God’s talking about?). Some of this stuff, some of this time, is really complicated, really hard. I like to refer to it as “being sucked through a straw”… uncomfortable at the least. The good news is that it looks like you’ve done a lot of the worst already. If you can hold that you’re going to be ok, that God has you, that it’s about glorious things to come… it is just true.
It’s a lot of fun for us to watch you, because we know the outcome… we know that there are huge things in store for the existence of All because of you, because of who you are. Thanks for surviving it!!! Hang on tight. We’re here when you need us : ) Many blessings.