A New Beginning in 2008: The Power of Good Bye

1) What new experience(s) did you have in 2008?

    There is a place in my heart where it is so difficult for me to even begin; however, I am compelled to do so, in the hopes that what I have to say will touch and change hearts in this bright community called the World. So, as a testimony to the power of Love, I begin.
   For the last three and a half years I have been living in constant fear. I was involved in a religious organization that was very destructive. I wrote for these people as a Ghost writer. They published three books which I wrote for them and never paid me anything. I willingly gave of my time to their organization - over 40 hours a week. They did not pay me. The head of this organization was extremely controlling and verbally abusive, calling me names, and using cruel and unusual means to get his way. He claimed to love God but did not demonstrate this love. At the same time, my husband was physically abusing me. Because of my struggle with self esteem, I
believed that I did not truly deserve anything better than this treatment. I continued to put up with it, constantly afraid and trying to survive the abuse.
   On August 31, my husband left me and the organization we were involved with. Suddenly my eyes were opened to the truth of what I had been walking through for as long as I had been with them. I decided I must leave. This was truly the most difficult decision of my life. As an abused woman, I had the mentality that I must protect my abusers. Therefore, leaving them behind was a type of mental torture. My Dad and Mom helped me to see that what I was walking through was not what God wanted for me and so finally I was able to get out. My husband and I are still separated. This is a very good thing, because I am learning that God does not want me to be involved in an abusive relationship. He has better plans for me than that! 
   So, this Christmas season, I am thanking God for freedom. I am so glad to be gone from that place and to be out of that destructive relationship. And I wish to continue to grow and change and become something great! May my testimony empower women everywhere to realize that they are precious and beautiful! You are God's little princess, no matter how old you are and you deserve to be loved and handled with care. No matter how difficult it may be, you must choose to leave behind relationships that are destructive and keep you believing you are worthless. YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS! You value goes beyond words into the very heart of God. Believe it and step out in faith that He will bring others along side of you to lift you up and give you the courage to do what seems impossible!
     2) What inspired you in 2008?

   My mother inspires me. She has been believing in me and praying for me every day of my life, and finally she saw me get free from a most destructive lifestyle. She is my best friend, and I am so glad to have her in my life. Through this time of aloneness, she has walked with me, encouraging me to remain strong and to focus on my bright future. She has encouraged me to go back to school to finish my Masters. She is my super hero! 

   Sarah Palin inspired me this year as well. Many may have unkind things to say about her, but all I have to say is Well Done! Many may say she was unqualified for the job of Vice President; however, I say, that she did her best to rise to the occasion of the biggest challenge of her life. She believed in herself and didn't allow the difficulties of her past, nor the stigmas of her sex, nor her less then traditional family life to stop her from pursuing her dream. May all women everywhere rise to the same occasion of greatness.
 
     3) What challenged you this year? 

   I have been recently challenged to trust men again. in overcoming the fear of abuse, I am also being asked to believe that not all men are abusers. As difficult as this may be to accept, it is the truth. My father for example is not an abuser, and there are thousands upon thousands of men who have never abused their wives or children. I wish to meet more such men so that the truth can be firmly cemented in my heart that there just might be a man for me out there who will love me passionately and forever!

     4) What new person or people entered your life?

   Since I left the destructive religious organization, I have met hundreds of new people. I think the most influencial was a woman named Nancy. She hired me as a marketing agent at Welk Resort; she believed in me and saw great potential in me which has caused me to experience amazing promotions. She is so full of love and compassion. She is truly one of a kind and full of graciousness. 
   Another wonderful person I met is a man named Mr. Troy Burleson. He is a 7th Dan in Tai Kwon Do and is a man of great integrity and understanding. He is also my boxing instructor and is helping me overcome the fear of abuse. I thank God for him.
     5) Which global event(s) had a strong impact on you?

   I am so excited about the election of President Obama to office. What a day and time we live in, to see the first ever African-American President of the United States. I think this will push open a door for change in the USA which will absolutely change the face of our nation. I pray that he turns out to be a man of integrity and honesty and that he will bring reformation to our nation in the areas of education and the care of the elderly.